At the suggestion of a friend, I joined a Facebook group for grieving parents. When I looked through the posts of the hundreds of people on the page, my heart broke. Post after post of terrible pain… I am so very sorry for their losses.
Many of these precious parents have recently lost their children. Their grief is very raw – just like a new physical wound. They can’t touch it, can’t move, and are frozen by it.
Not long after my daughter died I remember someone saying to me that my grief was new, raw. I didn’t understand how they could think that my grief would ever be any different than it was then. Now I understand.
No, it never goes away, but it does manifest itself differently. It always hurts, but as the years go by, you get relief here and there and you even begin to laugh again. This is unimaginable during the first months after your loss. You can hardly breathe, much less see any joy in the black hole of long, terrible years stretched out before you.
For those of you in that dark place, I want to offer you a light to warm you. I want to give you a glow of hope, and the knowledge that you are not alone.
Not only are there countless grieving parents, there are grieving spouses, and siblings, and friends. Cling to those around you who understand and can hold you up.
But more than that cling to your Heavenly Father who also had to watch His child die. He is the One who knows exactly how you feel and He is the One who can help.
My friend, the best thing you can do for yourself, and for the memory of your loved one is to keep on taking that next breath. Keep on going to the grocery store, keep on doing laundry, playing golf, whatever the next thing to do is.
Keep on doing it knowing that your Heavenly Father is taking the best care of your loved one. You see I know that my daughter is happier now than she has ever been. I know that she is shining in the love that God is showering on her. I know that she will never, ever have to suffer any pain or anguish again.
Just keep reminding yourself that your loved ones are not gone. They just live somewhere else now. That’s the truth.
You will see them again and it will be a joyous reunion. Until then, let someone comfort you. Let someone love you, and reach out to someone like you who needs a friend right now.
I love all of you who read this blog, and I pray for you often. Today may you feel the love of your Heavenly Father in Christ Jesus, and may you be comforted through and through by His Word of Hope, dear friend.
Phyllis Keels
The Gifted Writer 